"i like the way it hurts..."

Are you kidding me?  ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?  I am no fan of pain, my friends, and yet I find myself in a world that tends to glorify it for the sake of false illusions of validity. 

Let me back up...

I am pumped about The Mission 2010, so I went to my first boot camp class on Friday, with my new found friend Leah.  I was supposed to get there early, but the doors were locked and it was dark up until about 2 mintues before the class...didn't instill confidence in me.  Then the instructor beefcake man wouldn't even LOOK at me while he was printing out my waiver!  He was obviously way too cool to talk to a fatty, or acted that way.  Unimpressed, I began the workout and yes, it was difficult.  I was dying after only the first few rounds, and when doing push ups, I figured this was only going to make me stronger.  Ewww.  Turns out kids, you CAN push too hard in a work out.  Saturday, my whole body was sore, but I expected that.  My arms hurt pretty bad, worse than I've ever felt before, so I took a little ibuprofen to help reduce the swelling.  HA!  Sunday comes around and I literally can't lift my arm to my face or neck.  NOT KIDDING!  I was in so much pain that it made me extremely naseous.  I woke up with a migrane just becuse of how much my triceps hurt.  Now, mind you, the rest of my body was in pretty good pain, too, but I tell ya what....

I don't know what I'll tell you, just that I was in a lot of pain.

So lately a new song has come on the radio, and despite the fact that I really like the song, I am completely disturbed by the content and overall message.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U

It's Rihanna's new song, featuring Eminem.  It's all about a very dysfunctional and abusive relationship highlighted by the violent rap-based musings of one of the most angry-sounding artists of all time.  Do I like the song?  Heck yeah!  It's got a great sound, and I like the juxtaposition of her voice and his.  But are you kidding me?  Did the headlines, not a year ago, NOT have pictures of Rihanna beat to a pulp by her boyfriend?  Am I missing something?   Why is the glorification of domestic violence OK?  I realize this is not new, but I've never seen it so BLATANT before.  Line from the song:
"I know I'm a liar, if she ever tries to f-ing leave again, I'm gonna tie her to the bed and set this house on fire." 

Ahhh!  Really?  Does this kind of messed up shiz happen?  Of course, we all know it does.  But why is it suddenly the "cool way" to have things go down?  All of a sudden, you have young love gleaming with the disturbing light of cold steel, hot temper and gunpowder.  What is ok about this scene?

So what, I'm another prude bemoaning the degredation of some semblance of national morality.  I am still pretty young, yet I can see how there is a dellusion that if your reltionship is real, if it is valid, thus if YOU are valid, then you have to have an increased element of DRAMA.  At first, it came in the form of mean girls creating drama to see who could be the most valid.  Or it's guys getting into trouble with the law, competing for validity in other twisted ways.  Now, combine the two, and you have relationships fraught with sheer violence and terror, and it's sexualized, to boot. 

At first I thought maybe the song was some type of commentary, or an expose on the ravages of violence in intimate settings.  Maybe this was a way to illustrate what is a pervasive and sick trend in dating and courthship.  In fact, I hoped, because of last years' headlines, that Rihanna may be creating a social commentary decrying violence, especially towards women.  If that was the aim, it missed BIG TIME.  Instead, the video betrays any social consciousness by having sexy Megan Fox in flashing scenes of intensely sexual/ pseudo-romantic encounters layered inbetween shots of hitting, pushing, grabbing, breaking, etc.  Don't forget the fire in the background, representing the violence of love and the violence of ...well...violence.  All the while Rihanna is singing "I like the way it hurts..."

Is that where we are?  We like pain because somehow it gives us validity?  I can tell you, I didn't feel any more valid with arms that hurt so bad I couldn't sleep because every time I moved the pain was excruciating.  I am sick of the romantization of the masochistic woman.  What century are we in, people?  Are we liberated women or what?  Aren't we over the damsel in distress?  Even if you want to tell a story as  social commentary vis a vis: "I'm not glorifying violence, I'm just a mirror showing how the world is.." I call B.S.  There is money to be made showing young people pictures of how they, too, can achieve infamy by merely entering into a shallow relationship with all the dressings of a deep and passionate relationship, but with none of the responsibility and all of the selfishness either partner can muster. 

And that's the bee in my bonnet, Western Ohio.  (Let's all just laugh at Sue Sylvester...how I love you JL!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNGFqqVk1ZM